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12. AN ODYSSEY AND THE ESTABLISHMENT OF THE 'CANADIAN CONNECTION'. On
a grey winter day in 1975, I drove Olive to the Adelaide airport, and watched
her small figure walk purposefully across the tarmac to the plane. The
decision to travel to Vancouver was made without consultation, and she made
all the travel arrangements herself. I have no idea what communication may
have taken place with Trish and what knowledge Olive may have had of the
family situation in Canada. It was 16 years since her last visit with Norman
and, in the intervening time, the family unit had been torn apart by the
breakdown of Bob and Trish's marriage and the devastating effect this had on
Trish and the children.
She arrived at Vancouver airport after the long flight from Sydney via
Honolulu—her first international flight. Over the recent years, there had
been little exchange of photographs so neither Olive, nor Burk, Stacey and
Steve who had come to meet her, could be sure of recognising each other.
Stacey recalls that the flight seemed to be full of small grey-haired
grandmothers. After several approaches that had failed to bear fruit, they
stood irresolute in the reception area. Olive claims that she recognised Burk
by some familiar family gesture and approached them enquiring, 'Would you
happen to be the Quintrell children?' She tells how Burk drove around for
what seemed to be a very long time—although the drive from Richmond to
North Vancouver may simply have seemed long to her after 24 hours on the plane
—trying to find the words to gently introduce her to the chaos that might
greet her. She moved in with the family in the apartment in North Vancouver,
sharing a Christmas with them, and a celebration of a year of sobriety for
Trish.
On the back of the photograph below, she has written '…my first
visit alone, after fifteen years. Sue was born while we were [last] there,
Steven born one year later. I had not known him or seen them in all that
time.' Whoever has arranged the photo has placed Olive at the centre of the
group, her arm around Steve and her hand on Stacey's shoulder. It is
possible to read hints of awkwardness in the stance or expression of each of
the others, but Olive looks to be completely at home. She found her way to the
craft room in the basement of the apartment building and pursued her love of
craft producing, as Stacey remembers, 'amazingly intricate pictures on
various ceramic articles, tiles, saucers and bowls. She also made crystal
icicles and three of the surviving ones now hang on our Christmas tree each
year, a reminder of Grannie and her visits.' She brought back to Australia
various examples of her craft, including a plaster casting of seagulls
hovering above wharf pylons that she presented to Charmian and me. We can now
admit that it had little appeal for us, but we had to find some place for it
for years! 'She was never bored,' writes Stacey, ' and always seemed to
be doing something—cooking, crafting, writing letters …' It
appears that the Canadian grandchildren found her presence reassuring and she
had the ability to surprise them with an unexpected gift of acceptance. One
evening, Trish rang from work. She had forgotten her glasses and wanted Stacey
to bring them to her. The Nursing Home where Trish was working was half a mile
away and the path to it was poorly lit. Stacey must have shown some evidence
of discomfort about having to make the walk alone in the dark, so Olive
offered to go with her. 'Just
knowing that she would be willing to walk on that path in the dark was enough
to reassure me I could do it,' says Stacey. On
another occasion, Sue brought home a new boyfriend. 'My boyfriend of 2
years, a very handsome, blond, blue-eyed, bright,
"All-American'-looking" boy, wanted me back (after having dumped me for
a large-breasted woman in his grade!),' she remembers, 'and I had just
begun dating a boy … who looked similar to a tall Manson look-alike—dark
hair below his shoulders, cowboy boots, goatee beard … He came to the
apartment, settled himself in a chair, and put his cowboy boot-encased legs up
on the table. All my friends and siblings had been giving me hell over my
latest choice asking what I thought I was doing. So, I'm standing in the
apartment, looking down at Grannie, expecting a similar serve. What she
actually said I can't now recall, but I know I was bracing myself for total
disapproval and her response was nothing like I expected. Oh, it was clear
that putting your feet on the furniture was not right, but the anticipated
disapproving response wasn't there. I remember thinking "I really like
this Grannie person. She's cool!" After Dad left, we were fed a consistent
line that nothing good could come out of Australia, but this was my first
direct experience that maybe Mum's view of the world might be a bit skewed.
When I got older, I began to appreciate what Grannie really meant to us. In a
world where it seemed that adults were walking out on us, Grannie was walking
in and, for many years, she was the only positive connection I had with my
Dad's side of the family.' Stacey
echoes this last sentiment and notes that 'Grannie's constant presence
was, for me, a reminder that we were connected to another family.' Steve,
Olive, Burk, Sue, Trish and Stacey The
1975 visit was the first of others to Vancouver and time has blurred these
visits together, but there are some constant themes. Sue and Stacey, who had
to share a bedroom with Olive at times, remember her famous stertorous
snoring! Frai and Lorene, who also travelled with Olive to visit Bob in
Wollongong in the 1970s, agree! Steve fondly remembers Grannie's famous
pasties and her 'bubble-and-squeak'[1].
Many
of the details of the time she spent in Vancouver in 1975 are now largely
forgotten and are, in the final analysis, irrelevant. What is important about
that visit is that it paved the way for visits to Australia by Burk and Stacey
over the next few years, the return of Bob to Vancouver in 1979, and the
ongoing links between her grandchildren and great-grandchildren that have
continued to this day. Olive
returned from her 1975 Canadian trip, carrying herself with calm resolve. With
little reference to anyone, she sold the Toorak Gardens unit and purchased a
unit on a lovely creek setting just across the road from their old Hawthorn
house. With some help from us she stripped off old wallpaper and added new,
repainted the kitchen, revived the garden on the creek bank and put her stamp
on her new home. She was now in her seventies and beginning to show some signs
of aging. Her arthritis nagged at her constantly, but she was never heard to
complain.
In 1977, she returned to Vancouver again. She was adventurous enough to
travel alone by Greyhound bus down the west coast of the United States. And to
go flying with Burk.
On a cool autumn day in 1977, Burk and Olive drove east out to Pitt
Meadows airport, at the junction of the Fraser and Pitt Rivers, Olive, as
ever, dressed smartly and sensibly. Had she ever flown in a small plane
before? I doubt it. But the same spirit that had allowed her to be locked in a
box for her brother to 'saw her in half' was still there and she boarded
the plane and took off with Burk, flying up the Fraser Valley before turning
north up Howe Sound and over the stunningly spectacular Coast Range. The
slides she took of that journey have disappeared long ago but I know at first
hand how beautiful that flight would have been as, only six years later, we
took the same flight with Burk. It remains vividly in our memory as one of our
peak holiday experiences. Pitt Meadows has another connection. In the sixties,
Bob had taken flying lessons there and had completed his pilot's license. Burk
and Olive at Pitt Meadows, Vancouver, 1977. Olive
was also prepared to venture out on the waters of the Georgia strait. On one
of her visits, she boarded Burk's launch the 'Marauder' at Horseshoe Bay
for the long trip to Quadra Island and beyond. They traced the ferry route
towards Nanaimo on Vancouver Island and, on passing Bowen island, turned
north. They covered about 60 km. on the first day and moored overnight at
Secret Cove on the Sechelt Peninsula. The next day was a longer reach –
about 100 km—to Quathiaski Cove on Quadra Island, where they met Steve who
joined them for the next stage of the journey. It is easy for me to envisage
the next part of the trip as Charmian, Frai and I retraced the route during
our 1990 visit. They sailed north up Discovery Passage, timing their trip to
arrive at Seymour Narrows just at the turn of the tide, easing through to the
northern end of Quadra Island. Manoeuvring their way through the eddies and
whirlpools of Okisollo Channel and Hole in the Wall, they anchored for the
night at Harbott Point on Stuart island. The next day, turning south they
sailed through Pryce and Waddington Channels to Melanie Cove in Desolation
Sound Marine Park. Her legendary good humour would have been fully tested by
the 'head' that, on the Marauder, was a good three feet below deck level.
For the diminutive and rather modest Olive, already struggling with arthritis,
necessary visits would have been challenging. Nevertheless, what her Canadian
grandchildren recall is her laughter at having to be lowered in and lifted
out! I can imagine Olive spending quite a bit of time below deck, taking
charge of the galley and making endless rounds of sandwiches and cups of tea. I
have no record of Olive's impressions but, if they were anything like our
own 13 years later, she would have '…
marvelled at the beauty of the day, the towering mountains of the coast range
with the snow of their western slopes pristine white in the morning sun. The
scoops and scallops of the some of the little bays were fringed with a line of
grey sand below the rich dark green of the coastal forests
… Two eagles circled high above their nest in a single dead tree high
up on one of the bluffs. The surface of the sea was mirror-calm, disturbed
only here and there by seagulls fishing for herring.'[2] From
Desolation Sound, they made the journey back to Quadra to drop Steve off.
Olive's tracing on the map shows a return visit to Desolation Sound, with
overnight anchorages at Refuge Cove and Squirrel Cove. At Refuge Cove she
would have been relieved of kitchen duties as the crew demanded the hamburgers
for which the Cove shop is famous. Leaving Desolation Sound, they turned south
again for Vancouver, travelling via the Malaspina Channel and Jervois Inlet to
an overnight stay at Secret Bay. After an overnight at Secret Cove, they
returned to Horseshoe Bay. Although
Olive was seldom openly disapproving of her Canadian family, she had subtle
ways of indicating that perhaps things could be done differently. Stacey
remembers that, whenever Olive came to stay with them, she never commented on
the fact that Rod was expected to prepare his share of meals, but quietly took
over whenever it was his turn to cook. She had enough tact not to venture into
Kirstie or Fergus' bedrooms, but was puzzled (if not openly disapproving) by
the idea of having children's rooms in the basement of a house. Olive is
credited with introducing the idea of ice-cream cakes, supplying one for
Fergus' second birthday. 'To this day,' says Stacey, ' I can never
taste ice-cream cake without thinking of Grannie.' 'She
was always dressed beautifully,' Stacey continues. 'Even when we went for
a picnic at Eagle Harbour Beach, she was dressed up! She taught us all the
names of the flowers in our yard and told us that she had Lily of the Valley
in her wedding bouquet. I have always planted Lily of the Valley since then
and its fragrance reminds me of Grannie.' All
of her Canadian grandchildren associate one key feature about Olive. 'She
laughed a lot,' say both Stacey and Sue. 'We don't ever remember a sad
time when Grannie was around.' In
1977, Stacey made what was to be a significant visit to Australia, meeting up
with her father for the first time since he had left Canada, and putting in
place the last, necessary span of the Canada-Australia bridge. Although she
never spoke of it, Stacey's visit must have validated Olive's visits. Soon
after, Burk made a flying visit, and the connection was sealed. In
1979, Bob made the decision to return to Canada. He was divorced for the
second time, had lost his job at the Illawarra Mercury, and was just out of
rehab for alcoholism. Twenty years had passed since Olive and Norman left
Sydney for their first visit to Canada and had walked on a beach in Spain,
contented with their life, having completed the years of parenting. Now, a
second parenting task was coming to fruition. She had built the bridge that
allowed her son to venture back to Canada and made it possible for a task of
reconciliation to begin. She could now only watch and hope for what might be. |
